A Mom’s Thoughts On Modesty

When Angie was a baby, she was given a cute little bikini. I thought about putting it on her – for about a minute – then promptly re-gifted it. It wasn’t because she already had a swimsuit – a one-piece with long-sleeves and legs for UV protection – but because I wasn’t comfortable with putting my baby in a bikini.

There are those who will argue that bikinis don’t sexualise babies or children. That’s not the point. I don’t want her wearing a bikini when she’s eight, or 13, or 16 either, so I wasn’t about to let her wear one as a baby.

We have re-gifted a lot of other cute items of clothing that the girls have received over the years. Some of it was because the shirts were crop tops, and some of it was because the message written on the shirt was not something we wanted associated with our daughters. I don’t understand why people want their kids walking around with “little terror” and the like emblazoned across their chests.

I want my daughters to dress modestly, but not because I want to restrict their clothing choices or their expression of their personalities through fashion. The girls usually pick their own outfits each morning, which sometimes leads to dresses worn over pants, or tutus, or a jacket worn inside out. The colour scheme is not always easy on the eye. But they decide what they want to wear.

A Mom's Thoughts On Modesty

I choose to dress modestly to honour my husband. I hope that by modelling modesty, and guiding the girls as to what clothing choices are appropriate when shopping, my daughters will see the value in choosing modesty for themselves.

Children are sexualised so young these days. Is it really such a surprise that primary school kids are having sex? Is it a wonder that pornography is such a problem? What do we do when kids are watching porn?

I wrote last week how we’ve started talking about reproduction with the girls. We have not explained sexual intercourse – they are too young for that information. But we talk about their private parts, and why they should not show theirs to others or touch other peoples’.

A Mom's Thoughts On Modesty

I don’t really care how un-PC this is: we don’t want our children having sex until their wedding nights. Perhaps they will not wait, but it is our prayer that they do. We want them to see their bodies as special and sacred, and their virginity as a gift to their spouses. We want them to see modesty as another way of honouring God.

The world has another message for them. The world says, “Take it off! Show us your cleavage – heck, show us your boobs! Sleep around! Have fun!”

Whatever choices they end up making will be their own. But it is our job as parents to guide them on the right path, to protect them as best we can while equipping them to make the right decisions, to pray that they will have wisdom and discernment.

What do you think?

Comments 0

  • I’m very conscious of my children wearing appropriate clothing. There is nothing worse than seeing a little girl dressed like a grown up. I don’t know what parents who dress their children like that are thinking. Some of the slogans on shirts are just ridiculous. And people that refer to their kids as sexy? Don’t even get me started. We went looking for a costume for my older girl at the beginning of last summer and I couldn’t believe the trash that was out there for kids to wear.

  • Oh gosh the messages on Tshirts! We have also avoided this very intentionally – also clothing that may not be appropriate. Last December however I was very frustrated in finding my very tall but very thin daughter a swimming costume that is not a sports costume for the sea. You seem when its long enough not to leave the bums open it’s too wide around the bums and the top. She is simply not build for pretty one pieces. In the past we have managed with tanktinis that in gneral are long enough not to expose too much tummy. Last year I could not find a single one. I think we fitted over 40 swimming costumes. In the end we bough a bikini with a big panty and a bandeau top with a frill over – possibly as modest as a bikini can be. And what does my girlchild do? Always wear a sunshirt over it – and refuse to take it off. It seems we have implanted the modesty in her. This year the search for a tanktini will start way early in the season.

    What also freaks me out are people letting kids go naked at the beach – I would never! Even as babies. A asked me in December if we ever let her walk like that – and I said no! She said, thanks mom, its embarrassing.

  • I agree on the slogans and inappropriate clothing. Al tough, my daughter often wears black and we dress her quite fashionably – being in the fashion industry has that effect.

    What I absolutely, completely and totally despise is people putting naked or half naked photos of their kids on Facebook. I also cannot understand how people let their kids run around naked at the beach or wherever. I mean…. seriously???

    • I don’t think modesty is about not wearing black or being fashionable. For kids, it’s wearing age appropriate clothing. For me, it’s about making sure my clothing isn’t revealing.

  • I’m not a fan of the word “sexy” and can’t stand if people call their kids that. Thinking about it, modesty is not exactly a conscious choice when it comes to dressing myself. I like to feel comfortable and that often means covering up even in summer. Sunburn… Need I say more? 🙂 We’re not crazy about printed Tee’s either and thank goodness for that because there are some wicked words tossed out there. Thus far my girls have been following suit and I can see I’m setting a good enough example. Except for those occasions (which happens often) when nothing they wear matches… That’s all them.

  • Hearing little girls sing along to songs like PCD’s “Don’tcha” whilst wearing little crop tops and leggings, gyrating their little hips to the beat always makes me cringe. Children should not have the word “sexy” in their vocabulary. Thank you for your post. I will definitely follow your example when I become a mom some day.

  • Great post. I agree that some of the clothing nowadays are just inappropriate for kids. I feel like it’s for attention more than anything. I think you’re doing a great job in teaching your daughter about modesty. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp

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  • Great post! We have done the same things with our girls. no bikinis… i love that you put in here that you dress modest for your husband! So many women and men do not get this! Thanks for sharing:)

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