When Angie was a baby, she was given a cute little bikini. I thought about putting it on her – for about a minute – then promptly re-gifted it. It wasn’t because she already had a swimsuit – a one-piece with long-sleeves and legs for UV protection – but because I wasn’t comfortable with putting my baby in a bikini.
There are those who will argue that bikinis don’t sexualise babies or children. That’s not the point. I don’t want her wearing a bikini when she’s eight, or 13, or 16 either, so I wasn’t about to let her wear one as a baby.
We have re-gifted a lot of other cute items of clothing that the girls have received over the years. Some of it was because the shirts were crop tops, and some of it was because the message written on the shirt was not something we wanted associated with our daughters. I don’t understand why people want their kids walking around with “little terror” and the like emblazoned across their chests.
I want my daughters to dress modestly, but not because I want to restrict their clothing choices or their expression of their personalities through fashion. The girls usually pick their own outfits each morning, which sometimes leads to dresses worn over pants, or tutus, or a jacket worn inside out. The colour scheme is not always easy on the eye. But they decide what they want to wear.
I choose to dress modestly to honour my husband. I hope that by modelling modesty, and guiding the girls as to what clothing choices are appropriate when shopping, my daughters will see the value in choosing modesty for themselves.
Children are sexualised so young these days. Is it really such a surprise that primary school kids are having sex? Is it a wonder that pornography is such a problem? What do we do when kids are watching porn?
I wrote last week how we’ve started talking about reproduction with the girls. We have not explained sexual intercourse – they are too young for that information. But we talk about their private parts, and why they should not show theirs to others or touch other peoples’.
I don’t really care how un-PC this is: we don’t want our children having sex until their wedding nights. Perhaps they will not wait, but it is our prayer that they do. We want them to see their bodies as special and sacred, and their virginity as a gift to their spouses. We want them to see modesty as another way of honouring God.
The world has another message for them. The world says, “Take it off! Show us your cleavage – heck, show us your boobs! Sleep around! Have fun!”
Whatever choices they end up making will be their own. But it is our job as parents to guide them on the right path, to protect them as best we can while equipping them to make the right decisions, to pray that they will have wisdom and discernment.
What do you think?