I haven’t done a personal, from-the-heart post in a while. I’ve been caught up with homeschooling and lesson prep, with moving to a self-hosted domain and all that entails, with just keeping my head above water at this crazy busy time of year.
How is it the middle of November already?!
It’s so easy to get caught up in the holiday rush, to get too busy to pay attention to what matters. Easy to feel overwhelmed with Christmas thoughts – and I mean the present-buying, tree-decorating, Pinterest-perfect kind of thoughts. Easy to forget that none of that is important, that it’s Christ – not Christmas – who should consume our thoughts.
I’ve been awake since 4am today.
3yo has been wide awake & chatty since 4am. School is going to be interesting today. #zombiemoms
— Melanie Blignaut (@melbli) November 17, 2015
When Jacques brought Emmy into our room, our Tigger-child bounced onto the bed next to me. “She wanted to watch TV,” Jacques said. “At four o’clock in the morning!”
I should have known better than to hope that Emmy would just snuggle into my side and go back to sleep. She sang, and chatted, and bounced on the mattress. The cat though he was missing out and climbed on top of me – when did he get so heavy? – and before long we had a wild child and mad cat running amok in our bedroom.
I was grumpy. I wanted to sleep more. And when my alarm went off at 5am I sat up in bed and watched Emmy play. It struck me, then, that I had a choice to make. I could choose to continue feeling grumpy and resentful for my stolen sleep – and I’ve made that choice too many times in the past – or I could choose to see the extra awake time as a gift.
I reached for my Bible, spent a little more time in the Word than I usually do, a little more time in prayer and thanksgiving, a little more time reflecting.
I’m in the Psalms at the moment, and this was today’s passage: “O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” (Psalm 8:1 ESV)
Reading the passage, I was reminded – yet again – that it’s not about me. I think I’ve been in Martha-mode for the last while, too busy doing and neglecting what really matters. As we head toward Christmas, I need to be in Mary-mode; I need to focus on Jesus, to spend more time at his feet, to soak up his Word.
I am still tired, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. God knows where I am, how I feel, how I sometimes wonder how I’ll get through the day on zero energy – and he uses me anyway, just as I am.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)
How about you? Are you feeling overwhelmed this time of year? How can I pray for you today?